Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
