Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
