I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
