I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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