thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize