sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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