I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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