opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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