Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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