She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
