When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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