Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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