There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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