That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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