he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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