didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
We named our party play list daddy issues
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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