This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
