It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
