i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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