Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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