Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
