fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
