Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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