whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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