last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
