wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
