he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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