Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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