i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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