brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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