Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
