Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
this will be a night to untag.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
