Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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