so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
