why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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