i wish my penis had a tongue
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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