One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
