At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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