Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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