My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
