I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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