we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
