oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize