the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
