:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
