when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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