Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
