Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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