So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
