I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
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