New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
A bitchslap is in order.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
