I want to make a zoo with you.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
