I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
