Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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