I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Randomize
