didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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