so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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