your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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