Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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