Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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