Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
