What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
