Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
