yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize