her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
