he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize